Finally, the Root Cause of Earthquake Shakin’ Solved

April 21st, 2010 categories: Lake Tahoe Real Estate, National real estate news

And we thought Jerry Lee Lewis caused themIt's Much More Serious than "Whole Lotta Shakin" Going On"

Ok, we don't do things raree here very often, but this one was just too good to pass up. We also realize this ain't about real estate… but it is about the ground on which all real estate resides. (real estate stability, after all, is the essence of what we are all seeking)

It seems that, finally, we have discovered the root cause of earthquakes. (Thank goodness, because mankind has been looking for some time.)

Way back when, some thought Jerry Lee Lewis was the cause, after all everybody knew that  "Whole Lotta Shakin" Going On" was thinly veiled code for earthquake provocation. But we were wrong.

To best remember our folly, and reinforce the danger of jumping to false conclusions, lets listen to Jerry Lee while we read the real reason why, the new updated one, the earth has been plagued with so much befuddling shakin' going on for so long.

  Jerry Lee Lewis – Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On .mp3  
   
Found at bee mp3 search engine

 Honey, did you feel the earth move?

Some might say this is yet another battle between science and religion, though we understand others might think this is more of a confluence of science and nincompoopery. But when it comes to earthquake figuring, no stone can be unturned (rocks, boulders, crags, mountains or tectonic plates either).

The solution to the eons old puzzler has always been right before our eyes, and some, the more sordid kind, will certainly say it was delightfully so. Alas, it took a hard-line Iranian cleric to lift the wool over our eyes, so to speak. We of course think this is wonderful, that someone from an emerging country, one still struggling with nuclear tomfoolery, would deduct something so important.

Think what this will do for Iranian confidence, solving something so difficult and seemingly impossible to comprehend. Marie Curie, Louis Pasteur, Thomas Edison… er, Steve Jobs, all prior alchemists and the like be damned; this is big time stuff!  We are, after all, an international world, a global planet, and don't you think, like we do, that's its better for something of… well, such earthshaking consequence to come out of the middle east, rather than those old-time European, Nordic or upstart countries like us? (Our good-ideas cup has long runneth over.)

Parity in discovery of global solutions to benefit our species is what we all are looking for, and this discovery, shattering to passe conventional and scientific falderal that it is, is ground breaking equality to behold.

 The World of Earthquakes Revealed : (Oh Sage, can you see?)

We're not sure if the earth cracked open when the solution came, but however it happened (maybe it was a lightning bolt) is not the point. The solution came to Hojatoleslam Kazim Sadeghi, and the cause of earthquakes is simply this: loose women!

Confirming that zealotry, after all, does have it's place in our planetary pantheon, lets look at some bullet points in a CNN article about Cleric Sadeghi's remarkable contributions to understanding, and hopefully putting good old taboo on earthquake incidence once and for all. Here's what he said:

  • Women who dress provocatively and tempt people into promiscuity are to blame for earthquakes.
  • Women and girls who "don't dress appropriately" spread "promiscuity in society."
  • When promiscuity spreads, earthquakes increase.

Sadeghi is a senior cleric who was appointed last year by Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei as a substitute Friday prayer leader in Tehran, an extremely influential position. Khamenei himself is Tehran's official Friday prayer leader.

Iran suffers regular earthquakes, including a devastating one that destroyed the ancient city of Bam in 2003, killing tens of thousands.

  • Sadeghi is not the only religious leader to have linked earthquakes with human behavior this year.
  • American televangelist Pat Robertson suggested that January's devastating earthquake in Haiti was because of a pact Haitians made with the devil in order to throw off French rule in the 18th century.

(We're not sure if belly dancers are included in Sadeghi's conclusions, it would be hypocritical to not include traditional shaking, but we'll ask him about that the next time we see him.)

 A Few Other Thoughts :

That Pat Robertson has also linked the temporal and spiritual together (that damn voodoo again) prior to Sadeghi's revelations proves one of our key points. Sadeghi received more world wide press than did Robertson. People are just tired of us having all of the good thinking. (We're also suspicious of kooks in clerical clothing too.)

As much as we're thrilled about Sadeghi's complex thinking and spiritual something-or-other, we are bummed out about a few things:

  • Hooters is an earthquake epicenter (just like we thought all along).
  • The Bunny Ranch is no longer a safe place to go (there's earthquake conjuring going out there for sure).
  • Las Vegas, apparently, will be imploding into the middle of the earth any day now.
  • We may not see as many wet burka contests as we use to (damn!).
  • "The House of the Rising Sun" probably won't be translated into Farsi anytime soon.
  • Volcanic eruptions may, or may not be caused by hot winded clerics and dogmatic fanatics (we still don't know).

One good thing though, and it proves Sadeghi's postulations fundamentally. The menu below from Richter's Bar and Boom Boom Parlour proves the relationship between earthquakes and loose women once and for all. (Are you through with listening to Jerry Lee Lewis yet?)

Earthquake shaking source proved once and for all.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 21st, 2010 at 11:39 am and is filed under Lake Tahoe Real Estate, National real estate news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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